Ten Signs Your Dog May be Spoiled

Some say our dogs are spoiled. I do have my own ideas about walking the dogs. Some call me a pushover, but it's actually more of a "pullunder." In this page, I'll share some signs - dead giveaways - that your dog may be spoiled.

Original ideas - But Familiar to Many...

Your dog may be spoiled if:

1. Your dog has its own website (see Diesley's website).
2. You feed the dog the same dinner you're having.
3. You say sit and the dog backs over to a carpeted area and then sits (yep, mine does).
4. Your dog has more than one item of clothing (their collar counts as one).
5. You end up huddled on a tiny strip of the bed while the dog gets the rest (apparently 40% of dogs sleep on their master's beds).
6. You often make the Freudian slip of writing 'God' instead of 'dog.'
7. Your dog is getting credit card offers in the mail.
8. You go out for a drive just to give the dog a ride in the car.
9. Your dog has to be tucked in when it goes to bed.
10. Your dog drinks tea, but only with milk and sugar.

While walking, keep up a steady string of insults to make sure your dog gets some discipline. They sure don't get it any other way. Here are some things you can say to them:

1. "What does a dog do on its day off? Huh?"
2. "You've got rabbity little legs! Yeah. Rabbity."
3. "Look! Here's something putrid you can smell. Or maybe roll in. Don't forget a little behind the ears."
4. "Let's go - speed it up! You want me to have to carry you? Again?"
5. "Allright - keep it up and the trust fund goes to the cat."

• A man tried to sell his neighbor a new dog.

  "This is a talking dog," he said. "And you can have him for five dollars."

  The neighbor said, "Who do you think you're kidding with this talking-dog stuff? There ain't no such animal."

  Suddenly the dog looked up with tears in his eyes.

  "Please buy me, Sir," he pleaded. "This man is cruel. He never buys me a meal, never bathes me, never takes me for a walk. And I used to be the richest trick dog in America. I performed before kings. I was in the army and was decorated ten times."

  "Hey!" said the neighbor. "He can talk. Why do you want to sell him for just five dollars?"

  "Because," said the seller, "I'm getting tired of all his lies."

• Some new dog crossbreeds

  Before you head out to pick up your next dog, consider these newly developed crossbreeds. There's one for every lifestyle.

• Pointer + Setter

  --Poinsetter, a traditional Christmas pet

• Labrador Retriever + Curly Coated Retriever

  --Lab Coat Retriever, the choice of research scientists

• Newfoundland + Basset Hound

  --Newfound Asset Hound, a dog for financial advisors

• Terrier + Bulldog

  --Terribull, a dog that makes awful mistakes

• Bloodhound + Labrador

  --Blabador, a dog that barks incessantly

• Malamute + Pointer

  --Moot Point, owned by....oh, well, it doesn't matter anyway

• Bull Terrier + Shitzu

  --I think you can figure this one out!

"He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true, to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion." -- Unknown

Please vote on whether your dogs are spoiled or not!

Please share your ideas, funny things your dogs have done, or just say 'Hi!'